Wednesday, March 27, 2013


Two days after my surgery, a large package arrived in the mail.  Brett opened it up, and handed me the enclosed note.  It was a note from my late grandmother's friend, with whom I don't often communicate.  The note was a congratulatory one in response to the good news she had just received that we were expecting another baby.  My first thought was how incredibly kind it was of her to send us a gift, and my second was how I wished it had arrived earlier.  Brett revealed to me what the gift actually was: a wooden, red ampersand.  I stared at it unsure of what exactly to think.  It is really cool looking, and something I would probably ask Brett to make.  Strangely, not long ago I became very interested in the ampersand, simply because I think it's a really beautiful character.  I started saving graphics I found with that symbol, and had thoughts of doing art with it, somehow.  Back to the gift: I found it a slightly obscure congratulatory gift.  I mean, it's not a stuffed animal, it's not a baby blanket, it's not a cute's a large wooden ampersand, for crying out loud!  I stared at it for a while, and thought various things, and then carried on with whatever it was I was doing previously.  A few moments later, I sat down, and my thoughts of the ampersand returned.

And.  And.  And. a symbol of promise.  And, there is more.  And, you are not done.  And, your story and your life continues.  AND.  And the tears came.

Of all the times for this gift to arrive, it happened to be two days after I said my final farewell to my baby.  Of all the gifts it could have been it was a freaking AND sign.  It is undeniably divine.  It is the whisper from my God to take heart, to trust in His goodness and promises.

While my heart aches, I am trusting in the promise of the And.

"Fear not the path which I have laid out for you.  Flinch not at what I ask you to bear.  you will not bear it alone.  Lo, I am with you, my child, in every moment."  Echoes of Eternity, March 21st
(Thank you, Aunt Joyce, for the timely gift of this book)

In Christ alone, my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My comforter, my all-in-all

Here in the love of Christ I stand

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